Those Weapons Formed Against Me are Prospering

[gaarahiden]

 Dreamwidth auto save is absolutely useless. What do you mean you saved my draft and it's EMPTY. Whatever. I promised I would stop journaling only at my lowest but I think I was wrong. It's so easy to forget I need to let my emotions out in a healthy way when I'm feeling good. I just went to Reddit to see if journaling only when I'm feeling like shit is bad and they said it was. Damn it. Whatever. I miss my mother and my brothers and my step dad so much. It's genuinely making me lose my mind that every single night I go to bed to a basically empty house. I haven't had a conversation with my dad in weeks. I just feel so constantly alone and miserable. I need the noise of my home, I need the comfort of knowing someone is in the room or bed across from me. I'm exhausted. I'm broke. I'm hungry. I just can't fucking win. My life has felt like that gif of Kennedy running through Silent Hill in the fog since my birthday and I don't know how to get out. On the bright side, I've just emailed a few different psychologists because I'm starting to get the feeling that getting high crying my eyes out and bashing my head against the wall multiple nights a week isn't very cute of me. 

Let's discuss something that is very cute of me: Fortnite. I just can't believe the game is this fucking fun like no one told meee I could have been a pro gamer at this shit LONG AGO. It's so embarrassing to be the first one to start playing a game and to be the worst.

This entry will be continued, I need to get my nails off TODAY.